January 9, 2019

Warning: Respite followed by a marathon of appointments means this is a LONG READ!!!! Continue at your own risk.

You know that feeling…when your kids talk you into going on the biggest roller coaster at Six Flags. The one that does 4 million loopty loops. And you think, “Sure, I’m brave, I can do this. No problem”. So you wait in line with your precious children and you climb in, smiling yet terrified. Then you spend the next 120 seconds of your life cursing and praying to God that if he’ll just let you get off alive or without puking on all the people in the cars behind you, you will do anything! There are people that get off that ride, exhilarated and terrified, and jump right back in line to do it again. Or there’s people like me that decide life is better and much more enjoyable if I never go on a ride that spins me upside down at 60 miles per hour EVER AGAIN. And I’m happy to be the person that takes all the pictures and holds the sweatshirts. Win Win!

Breast cancer is a lot like that roller coaster. The beginning is the slow treacherous climb with the slow motion ticking of tracks. The anticipation, the fear of not knowing what’s going to happen when you reach the tippy top. The negotiating with God and the person in the car next to you…please take me back!!! Please let me off right now!!!

The last 3 weeks have been that climb up an insurmountable mountain. I find myself pleading with God A LOT to please make it all go away. Or I beg Steve, as we drive to yet another doctor appointment, to PLEEEEAAASSSE just drive me to the airport and take me to a warm sunny beach. But we’ve made it to the tippy top. Now we get to perch for a few weeks and enjoy what is left of our normal. We are putting together lists to prepare for surgery normal, then chemo normal, then lose your hair normal, then get thrown into menopause normal (Oh, dear Lord, Steve is going to need a BIG seatbelt)…this ride is insane!! I WANT TO GET OFF!

Sorry, minor tantrum. We have finished our marathon of medical appointments. Here’s the scoop.

Round 1: Reconstruction
On Monday we met with Dr. Hutter, a plastic & reconstruction surgeon that works at both Valley and Overlake. He’s only 15 minutes from home which is a bonus. We liked him immensely. The consult lasted 2 hours and I learned so much. I thought going in I knew what I wanted but it turns out my love muffin isn’t quite big enough to make a breast, SAY WHAT??? That’s a compliment. So, I’m not really a candidate to use my own tissue. The improvements in implants are fascinating and we decided this is my best choice. Since I’m keeping my right breast (unless genetics says otherwise) it will be easier to match the two. We will probably have to perk up the old gal on the right since she’s gonna look a little droopy compared to the younger version on the left. Dr Hutter seems kind, thorough and all the doctors and nurses raved about how awesome he is to work with. I got to have my killer boob photographed so we can remember what they look like. He told me not to worry because he cuts my head out of the photo and then after he was done I realized I had my school badge still attached to my belt…so that’s super cool.

Round 2: Valley Medical Center/UW Medicine, Tuesday 12:45-5pm
WOW! That was a looonnnng appointment. We didn’t plan for lunch so by 5 pm we were hangry and exhausted. We were so impressed with Valley. Every. Single. Person. we encountered was kind, considerate and thoughtful. We met with a breast surgeon, oncologist, radiologist, nurse navigator and scheduler. We were super impressed with Dr. Ingber (oncology) and Dr. Douglas (radiology). Dr Ingber, thinks I’m very young (why, thank you so much) for the type of cancer I have and would like me to have a PET scan before surgery. He also recommended a similar treatment as Overlake. Chemo and endocrine therapy that will start about 3-4 weeks after surgery. It’s a pretty aggressive cocktail but that’s weeks away. I sure hope I get an umbrella and a palm tree to go with that cocktail. Who wants to go to happy hour with me?

Round 3: Overlake Surgery, 8am
Besides it taking an hour to drive 9 miles to Overlake we continue to be super impressed with Dr. Harrington and staff. After consulting about surgery we decided to sign pre-op forms and we now have a date! Tuesday, January 29th. I’ll be splitting my care team: Overlake for surgery, Valley for Oncology and Radiology. I am having a full single mastectomy and lymph node biopsy. I’m a candidate for nipple sparing which makes me so very happy. They also told me I can take my Xanax before I arrive that morning and that means Steve won’t have to drag me in kicking and screaming. She seems to understand it’s in everyone’s best interest that I am medicated before they put me on a gurney.

As much as I want off the ride, I have to say, I’ve already experienced some amazing miracles. My kitchen at Maywood has been incredible. I’m so incredibly blessed to work with such awesome women that make me laugh every single day. Steve is full of love and surprises and is constantly making me giggle or holding me as I fall apart. My sweet Dad is searching bathrobes at Nordstrom that have special drain tube pockets and my Mom is on a search for long sleeve soft button-up shirts. Joanie, has been busy building me up with awesome bookmarks. The boys are staying the course, helping around the house and asking a lot of questions and giving big hugs. My village is an amazing miracle. We feel your love and prayers. We are so very grateful. Thank you!

#cancersucks #lovewins #tellyourstory