Not-So-Pretty in Pink: A Breast Cancer Awareness Gut Check

I’ve been staring at the headline for hours, trying to find something snappy for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. But let me tell you: breast cancer is memorable, alright—and not in a cute hashtag kind of way.

For three Octobers now, I’ve tried to be the picture of hope and warriorhood. The problem is, I’m tired. Deep, marrow-in-my-bones tired. Cancer has this sneaky way of stealing your stamina, even years after your last treatment. It doesn’t play fair, and it sure as hell doesn’t take a month off.

I have a love-hate thing with being a “Pinky.”

On good days, I want to wear all the pink, bake cookies shaped like ribbons, maybe even tattoo WARRIOR across my forehead so the world can see what I’ve walked through.

But then there are the not-so-good days—days when the sight of a pink ribbon makes me want to scream. The kind of days when hope feels like a pair of jeans that used to fit but now pinch in all the wrong places. Days when just getting out of bed feels like a full-time job.

And yet, here I am.

So here’s the real talk: Breast Cancer Awareness Month isn’t just about fundraising or wearing pink on Wednesdays. It’s about survival. Early detection. Hard truths. And yes, those awkward, vulnerable moments we don’t put on Instagram.

So, GO GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM. Right now. Text your doctor. Schedule the damn appointment. Because you can’t fight what you don’t know is there.

And if you’re a survivor like me, do the monthly checks. I know they’re terrifying. I hate them. I’ve stood frozen in the shower more times than I can count, whispering to myself, “I’ll check tomorrow.”

But we can do hard things. Even when they scare us. Especially when they might save our lives.

Pink is more than a color. It’s a battle cry, a scar story, a daily reminder that healing isn’t linear. Some days we shout. Some days we whisper. But every day we keep showing up.

Letter to Self

Dear Me,

You did not choose this. But you are still choosing every single day to keep going. That matters. You are brave even when you’re tired. You are healing even when it doesn’t feel like it. Keep standing. Keep laughing. Keep checking. Keep living.

With love and deep respect,

Me